Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
