My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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