There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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