ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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