It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
