I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
