pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Everything about him screamed your future.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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