How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
