Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
