butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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