Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We just shotgunned beers for America
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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