sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
