Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
