Whod you bang
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
