fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Welp...herpes.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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