I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
