Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
then he tried to convert me to islam
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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