she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
