Me too!
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
