Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
