ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
