paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
one two three fourrrrnication!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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