I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
ttyl tear gas
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
