At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
