you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
