So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
