That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
