franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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