you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
