My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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