i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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