It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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