Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
