threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
