dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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