Midget sex pt 2 tonight
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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