He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize