after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
