drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
