my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
