There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
