Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
