Say something about gay babies.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
