The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
