Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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