Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
