ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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