Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
