just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
