So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
