no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
