My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
