Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
