i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Sacagawea was the original milf.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
