I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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