Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
