thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
