Will you blow on my dice?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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