I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize