I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
