Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
