just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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