Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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