i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
