About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
