I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
