i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
