You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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