I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
