Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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