Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
