I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
