Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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