So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think I sprained my soul last night
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize