There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
