I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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