Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
