i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
