The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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