No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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